Dark

Kalypso Media
1
Feb 27, 2014

A stealth-action with RPG elements.  About vampires.  This game should be amazing.

It isn't.  Oh, how it isn't.

Dark is what happens when a reject from the Metal Gear Solid team gets hopped up on Red Bull and Anne Rice.  You begin as the unfortunately named Eric Bane, recent vampire attack victim and newly made vampire with a memory problem.  Happily, you're in a nightclub run by vampires looking out for each other, and they get you started with a training course—There's some homeless guys in the alley, go eat them!—and a warning that if you don't drink your creator's blood you'll turn into a mindless ghoul.  Or, y'know, maybe some other powerful vampire's blood.  Whatever.

With the supernatural grace of a rhino in ice skates, you venture out to find a way to keep you sane.  Because apparently your nonchalant attitude towards the taking of human life—I refer back to the homeless (and inexplicably armed) guys in the alley you slaughtered with nary a hitch—is still saner than the creature you might become.  Somehow.

I've played sixteen-bit JRPGs with poor translations that still were more coherent and poetic than the mess of this script.  The art team appears to have been assigned tasks without any oversight to make sure everything matched—with some people poorly emulating Mass Effect, while others were aiming for something closer to Wind Waker, or perhaps utterly failing at Borderlands—with the end result being a discordant mess that distracts you from the terrible AI and gameplay.  So maybe it was deliberate, who knows?

If you're looking for a stealth action game, stick with Assassin's Creed.  If you're looking for a good RPG, they're all over the place.  If you're looking for a good vampire game, let me know if you find one, okay?

All in all, this is not a game I'd recommend to anyone, unless you really want something to point and laugh at.  In which case, have at it.

Written by Rachel C.