elementia desire

He leaves his shoes on the doorstep. Size twelve and a half, wearing through the toes and curling with wrinkles of use. He stopped working at the orchard in November, but red Oklahoma mud still caulks the crevices and holes, stains the laces.

From dusk till dawn 
I search,

I look
From town to town,

This person I am told can give
A smile for every frown.

Up and down
These hills I look
I never seem to find

That person I am looking for,
Who is loving and so kind.

Staring into a vast,
 black emptiness
 counting sheep-1, 2, 3...
 Consciously lying under
 the matted black blanket,
 Until all consciousness
 has been lost out to sea.
 Soaring over mile-high waves
 of blue and green into the sunset,

My head tends to spin
Because I’m on the outside looking in
My heart starts to yearn
The secrets of friendship I wish to learn
I want to be inside
And to be filled with pride
I can imagine myself in there
With the warm refreshing air

Look at her,
I look at myself.
I see him,
I see myself.
I find what I want...
It’s not an option.

Stare into these eyes of flame

Warm embrace of blazing love

Wild animal you cannot tame

Feral beauty of gentle dove

Gaze into these eyes of fire

Scorching heat of kindled lust

Burning secret of past desire