Elementia issue 3

I remember about my past. my childhood. it wasn’t good. It was actually a nightmare. dark scary sad.

I remember a time when I had freedom. Maybe not freedom, but choices. I could choose my friends. I could choose what I wanted to wear. The freedom to say no, when I didn’t want to do something.

I lost my favorite cousin he was at a gas station getting gas with his daughter and his daughter’s mother and someone ran over and shot him.

freedom’s important I see very clearly now the great open space it’s not much to some people but to me it’s...everything.

on vacation from myself-damaging life

dedicated to joetta I care about u just 2 let you know cuz I don’t know how much love I show

A strong black newbian queen is what I call you

At graduation with 2 babies on your hip U stayed focused and never lost a grip I know it’s been hard staying on the godly tip

Repent As I sit and do this free write The thoughts going through my head aren’t light As I think back on my old action times of crisis Thoughts of things past I would rather dismiss As I realize I betrayed myself Life’s simple rules stare down on me

My mom is like binoculars She is always looking out for me

My dad is like a unicorn I’ve never seen him I have always wondered what he looks like

If you fall head first are you falling up? or to the side? or in between? Can you feel heaven and taste hell? Can you reach in and pull out, jump in and jump around? If you exist but choose to be nonexistent, are you real? If you can go into a tragedy and come out, does it even matter? What makes

It comes in all shapes and sizes some cute couples, some odd pairs... we know who we are. But despite the fact that commonly, this world leads us to believe that clash will always lead to -conflict and conflict just its own, I’ve found that with each difference that comes between us, we grow that

Over the quivering surface of the stream, The moon issued a silent scream. The fog of war flowed silently adrift, The pain of the night was silent and swift. A moth fluttered in the silent breeze, Surrounded by the scent of death and disease. And yet it seemed it hadn’t a care, About the senseles

I walk outside Everything seems so dark Have only the stars To give me light Wind blows the grass Makes the leaves dance Swirls in my hair Carries away my every care And the stars Twinkle down on me Like diamonds on velvet They seem to be winking Are they smiling at me? They seem to be thinking T

Notorious Victoria, Malicious Victoria, Sweet kind and loving Victoria.

Multiple personalities, An ongoing personification, Can create, In itself a problem, Don’t you think, Vic-tor-ia

Can you believe that? Absolutely impossible. The world ended three months ago. But if you think that’s why I’m in denial, you’re wrong.

I simply can’t believe that a guy like that can even exist...

I want to scramble away I want to scream I want to shout I want to fight back No... No... I need to scramble away I need to scream I need to shout I need to fight back. Or do I? The voices tell me not to, Not the voices in my head, The voices around me.

What is this nonsense that a school represents? It teaches the ways of a trained money controlling society I dwell in the essence of my mind knowing they don’t have me convinced I’m an individual and I will not be another part of the variety

Hawk upon blue sky Soaring above brook and spring On the endless high

I want to touch a tree. Not just any tree. A tree with big green leaves. I miss the shade trees give on hot summer days. The way they smelled, not like a flower, just the overall smell of nature. I want to sit on a tree branch and scream. I am free. I want to hug a tree. It may seem hippiesh to y

So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scaring induced by hate, you never seem to open out, is that what all this teaching has led to scout, it’s not my fault, you make me feel, like my own education wasn’t truly real.

I see purple oranges bouncing Silly rabbits singing twisted colors, sadistic hallucinations these purple oranges hanging from a noose dripin in my cup is purple orange juice

Under the rug, two weeks later it happened again. The huge bump came back. I panicked and tried to smash it, like last time. It moved clear of my blow, with the wooden chair I had been sitting on. I didn’t know if it was under the rug or the wooden floor. I slammed the chair at it again.

waves slapping against the shore sun shining through every door

sets my mind free and at ease keeps my head in the clouds...always dreaming about me perfect one

Wait!

Sometimes when I sit in my room I think of home I think of all the things I miss and how I’m alone In all the loneliness I get consumed in sadness and fear Then I feel the pain as I shed a tear Sometimes when I’m in my room and I’m entrapped in silence I bring back the past, all the hurt and viol

In the calm before the storm all is concealed There is serenity and peace of mind before the storm is revealed The clandestine activity crude as it laughs in your face The Gnostic gimmick of peace before the mask breaks Drawn into the illusion of pleasure, beauty, and delight Then being tossed an

Why do I want to do my own thing? Why do I always want to be in trouble? Why don’t I stay home...in one place? Why do I always run away? Why do I lie to AJ? Why can’t I just tell the truth? Why can’t I tell him I love him? Why did Kyle ever kill himself? Why couldn’t he just live life like the r

I wonder... I sit in my cell and wonder where will I be when this is all over? will there be something waiting for me on the other side of the door? Will the world have changed? Or will it all be the same?

In real life things don’t have outlines.

My life is full of tragedy Hurt and pain left and right I see things a little differently Looking for sunshine in the night

I think I’ve met the snake of the earth And stepped in his rattling tail Ever since the day of my birth I’ve believed I was put here to fail

Condemned by them Isolation Controlled by them Aggravation Freedom lost Twice the cost

I am on probation