I remember about my past.
my childhood.
it wasn’t good.
It was actually a nightmare.
dark
scary
sad.

I remember a time when I had freedom. Maybe
not freedom, but choices. I could
choose my friends. I could choose
what I wanted to wear. The freedom
to say no, when I didn’t want to do
something.

I lost my favorite cousin
he was at a gas station getting gas
with his daughter
and his daughter’s mother
and someone ran over
and shot him.

freedom’s important
I see very clearly now
the great open space
it’s not much to some people
but to me it’s...everything.

on vacation from myself-damaging life

dedicated to joetta
I care about u
just 2 let you know
cuz I don’t know how
much love I show

A strong black
newbian queen is what
I call you

Repent
As I sit and do this free write
The thoughts going through my head aren’t light
As I think back on my old action times of crisis
Thoughts of things past I would rather dismiss
As I realize I betrayed myself
Life’s simple rules stare down on me

My mom is like binoculars
She is always looking out for me

My dad is like a unicorn
I’ve never seen him
I have always wondered
what he looks like

If you fall head first
are you falling up?
or to the side?
or in between?
Can you feel heaven
and taste hell?
Can you reach in and pull out,
jump in and jump around?
If you exist but choose to be
nonexistent, are you real?

It comes in all shapes and sizes
some cute couples,
some odd pairs...
we know who we are.
But despite the fact that commonly,
this world leads us to believe
that clash will always lead to
-conflict
and conflict just its own,

Over the quivering surface of the stream,
The moon issued a silent scream.
The fog of war flowed silently adrift,
The pain of the night was silent and swift.
A moth fluttered in the silent breeze,
Surrounded by the scent of death and disease.

I walk outside
Everything seems so dark
Have only the stars
To give me light
Wind blows the grass
Makes the leaves dance
Swirls in my hair
Carries away my every care
And the stars
Twinkle down on me
Like diamonds on velvet

Notorious Victoria,
Malicious Victoria,
Sweet kind and loving Victoria.

Multiple personalities,
An ongoing personification,
Can create,
In itself a problem,
Don’t you think,
Vic-tor-ia

Can you believe that? Absolutely impossible. The world ended three months ago. But if you think that’s why I’m in denial, you’re wrong.

I simply can’t believe that a guy like that can even exist...

I want to scramble away
I want to scream
I want to shout
I want to fight back
No...
No...
I need to scramble away
I need to scream
I need to shout
I need to fight back.
Or do I?
The voices tell me not to,

What is this nonsense that a school represents?
It teaches the ways of a trained money controlling society
I dwell in the essence of my mind knowing they don’t have me convinced
I’m an individual and I will not be another part of the variety

Hawk upon blue sky
Soaring above brook and spring
On the endless high

I want to touch a tree.
Not just any tree.
A tree with big green leaves.
I miss the shade trees
give on hot summer days.
The way they smelled, not
like a flower, just the
overall smell of nature.
I want to sit on

Sometimes when I sit in my room I think of home
I think of all the things I miss and how I’m alone
In all the loneliness I get consumed in sadness and fear
Then I feel the pain as I shed a tear
Sometimes when I’m in my room and I’m entrapped in silence

In real life things don’t have outlines.

The milkman used to come up this way,
Bringing us his creamy milk, and stories, back in the day.
A dusty train followed him, rising up into the sky,
His buggy drove low, but his spirits sang high.
In my mind, I still see his horse-drawn car,

“Within the surface of the fleeting river the wrinkled image of the city lay.” I stopped and observed this for some time deep in thought about how much I wanted a gas-powered sweater. Sadly, being a stand up comedian, I had little or no money.

The sky is bright
But the Stars are cold
Like eyes, they twinkle
Ancient and old
Looking down on the Earth far below
They watch and wait,
And what’s more, they know
They look down, older than time
Staring at me

Hearing the phantom calls of the organ,
And the soft murmur of the church choir,
Awakened from sleep with a feeling she couldn’t describe,
She got out of bed and followed it outside.
A careful mist lay over her small town, a light shield of protection.

A lonely man sits on the side of the road
He sings a song,
La, la, la.
He stops, silence.
Red, green, yellow, red, green, yellow
The light keeps turning
Over and over
But no one is in sight, besides the lonely man

Daring to yearn for freedom as
the doors of your prison open
the view of white death before you
all of your small hopes broken
standing in a door between hell’s
cold fingers brush your skin
beautiful death covers the hills

The horror, the brutality
eats away at my heart until I no longer
see the need to go on.

I bite my lip,
holding in the
rage,
the remorce
the screams
I want the world to hear.
but they won’t.

the water is still.
sitting on the dock, watching the horizon
I see
the bright orange, pink, yellow sky
with a mix of purple and blue
slowly fading away into darkness

The water spraying around me
The waves like endlessness enveloping me,
Surrounding me, smothering me
The hugeness of the ocean
Obscures my vision
Numbs my senses
Yet I feel the waves
Pounding, beating.
I feel the water

Have you ever awakened in the middle of the night? You look around and all your clocks are flashing. Blinking, on and off, on and off. You think to yourself, was it supposed to storm tonight? You decide the best way to find the solution is to check outside.