on being called a gaslighter

By: Stephania Kontopanos

PART I: AI is created
I think God made you and me out of binary code You call me an enigma,
But I do not speak your language. You would be the 1’s.
Standing tall
Always at the top
Perfect Aryan halo on your head I would be the 0’s.
Zero.
Zero is nothing.
Zero is the void, the infinite pit In my stomach
As I say
“Yes, I can’t be trusted.” “Yes, I am wrong.” “Yes, I am a gaslighter.”

Part II: AI is reprogrammed
I was forced to watch 1000 hours of emotional abuse short films. I was forced to watch 1000 hours of
Every thought i had Every word i said Every action i took
I reached into myself on a cellular
molecular
atomic
level
I came out with nothing but
miles and miles of frayed, organ-colored wires that i’m still trying to untangle
A cat’s cradle that you toy with until my stomach is whirring and
everything i never said is coming up and out
Self-awareness
Self-scrutiny
Self-destruct
I think about myself so much i’m almost as narcissistic as you.

Part III: AI is shut down
Error: Bluetooth Connection Failing
The wires connecting me to my outlets have been severed Use the cord to charge your phone
Call it innovation
Your connection is stronger than ever Because I am being kept secret

Part IV: AI is recycled
I’m not afraid to use the word narcissist now. See?
print(“narcissist”)
print(“narcissist”)
print(“narcissist”)
The search bar swallows my question
Learning that even code can feel a lump in the throat It taunts me as, for a nanosecond, I am
Met with a page of links in periwinkle purple I have been here before.
And it disappears.
error 404 page not found
“Refresh”
error 404 page not found
Perhaps my screen is broken Computer knows best
(How did he reprogram Google?