the wind that brought my body back

By: Eva Parsons

It wasn’t until I
could feel the wind
kissing my hand,
arm hanging out of
your old rusty van
that I realized that
I have a purpose
even if that purpose is purely
letting other people know
that sometimes
a little air is all you need
to bring you back into reality
even if it’s just for a moment.
And thinking back
on the wind
brushing my skin
it makes me see
how I can be okay
Makes me wanna breathe to actually
stay alive
not just breathe
to live.
Makes me wanna
sleep to be awake
instead of
sleeping and wanting to sleep
When I say I think about you all the time
I can prove it right here,
because even the wind
reminds me of you.
Must be why I’ve come to love the breeze,
feeling like I can hear your voice
in the wind whistling through the trees,
warms my chest filling me with
making me wanna live to
be alive
not just live to die
God, if only you knew
how deep I was
stuck in my own head
buzzing with things like
hopelessness and
weariness and
dread but
I heard you
like I hear the wind.
It rushes through my ears
pushing my hair back
and I think to pull my hair forward
because I hated my ears
but you changed that,
so I let it all go.
not only am i learning to let my hair flow
i’m learning to be okay
with being alone
with the silence of the air
and the emptiness of the sky.
27 minutes go by until I notice the wind
has died down
and I’m left sitting here
I thought the sensation in my hair
was the embrace of the wind
but I reach back to feel
your touch on my skin.
my skin that has grown cold
from all of this chilly air
your first word
“hi” and just like that
I am warm
once again.