This is Me

By: Brooke Pannell

Hiding in the background.
Behind everything and everybody.
I’m missing something in me.

I wait at the end of the mat thinking those thoughts.
Thinking as hard as my brain would let me.
When I’m starting to run...

I stop immediately with a thud.
I have to be fearless and confident.
I realize I have to be that way at school too.

When I’m around people I have to put myself out there.
I think about the scene today at school.
Someone was alone.
I wanted to help but didn’t speak up and go over there.

Gulp! I swallow hard.
Pushing through the feeling
in my stomach is the hardest thing.
I can’t let people bring me down
and make me upset.
Being ignored or talked about is the worst thing.
I feel as if I’m just a tedious piece of rock.

I need to stand up to people.
I start to try and dart again.
I stop abruptly.
I’m not finished with my thoughts.

I need to stand up to people
and not just push away the spiteful feeling,
but get rid of the spiteful feeling.

I’m not going to live my life this way.
Suddenly, the feeling stops.
It’s like it got washed away.

My heart thump, thump, thumps.
My mouth is as dry as a bone.

I scamper across the mat as rapid as I can.
First flip, second flip, third flip.. BAM!
The feeling is gone like it was never there.

I CAN do all things,
This is me.