oh my gosh what song is this
oh my god is it that song
that song i first heard
god it must have been the summer before middle school
listen to those horns
it must have been npr’s all songs considered
i always forget about this song finding it again is such a pleasant surprise
gosh that was years ago
i’m a sophomore in high school
junior
junior in high school now
god i’m nostalgic
can you be nostalgic at my age
you must be this old to ride the rollercoaster of sentimentality
back in my day amusement park tickets were five cents
back in my day you could ride as many times as you wanted
ha
i remember staying up until midnight
syrupy sounds oozing from headphones
2007 ipod classic
nose inches away from prickly white ceiling
i scribbled my name on that ceiling
magda werkmeister’s bedroom
red ink
i thought someone would care one day
another little girl maybe
wow that’s amazing this was magda werkmeister’s bedroom
i didn’t think about how bedroom ceilings can be painted over
or how most people fade away unnoticed
i didn’t understand this song then
i liked it a lot though
i think i understand now
i think
i understand
the desperation in his voice
the insecurity
the almost manic energy
god i’m halfway through high school
what do i have to show for it
what am i doing
god i want this song to wrap me up in its arms and take me away
back to that warm red mouth of a room
when i knew who i was
and who i would be
so many hopes
so many regrets
isn’t it funny how even at 15 you can feel both 10 and 50