They say I write to escape
That I let the words flow like droplets of water
Swept along in a strong current
Tumbling
Gushing
To get away.

I wonder what I am escaping from.
Why I sit here for so long,
Holding onto the words
As if they were more than letters
Written
On paper.
As if they could take me away.

They say that I write my pain
Into non-existent people’s lives,
Their agony all too familiar,
Their tears,
My tears,
To numb that pain.

I wonder how exactly it numbs the pain,
Why I continue writing other’s lives,
Until the waterfall of words
Crashes down
And cascades
Over my reality.

I do not write to get away.
I write to bind the chains
Around my hands
Until
I cannot tell
Which world I am escaping from
And which one is fiction.