an uncomfortable comfort

By: Leandra Ho

for so long, i’ve crossed the same streets
i’ve smiled and waved to the same people in the hallways
i’ve thought the same thoughts
i’ve loved the same love
but i’ve outgrown my attachment to comfort and my warmth for the familiar sidewalks
i long for a thrill; a moment that doesn’t repeat itself
i long for the feeling i get when i’m looking at the downtown cityscapes in a bokeh lens
with my glasses off, i feel a sense of freedom
i couldn’t be more in love with the breeze that carries my worries
and the streetlights that glow on my cheeks
and the silence that reflects from the pavement
but i’m reminded that it’s temporary
that my past life will soon chase me down those very sidewalks that i had loved
it’ll chase me with a smile on its face
telling me that i was never meant for the heaven of change,
that the beauty of similarity was bound to wither
and me along with it