Elements by Iris Hoffart is our Summer Reading Writing Contest 7th & 8th Grade Winner.
Judge’s comments:
*Great ending, loved the connection between the introduction and the conclusion of the story.
*Creative with compelling characters
I was running through the forest crashing through branches, jumping over logs and ditches, breaking anything in front of me. My heart was beating, legs ached, breath was ragged. Adrenaline and fear the only thing pushing me forward.
I heard a man behind me. He shouted some things, but I only comprehended the word “friends”. If we were friends, then why was I running. Something told me we were not friends. So I kept on running.
I ran and ran and it seemed like I lost him. Just to be safe I continued running. I ran for what seemed like ages. Finally, I came out of the forest only to stop in my tracks.
In front of me was a ravine. It was longer than my eyes could see. It went down at a steep decline over a mile long. I definitely would not survive a fall.
I heard a crack from behind me. I turned around to see my pursuer emerging from the forest. I couldn't see all of his face but the part I could see was shriveled and deformed. He opened his mouth to speak. I saw a row of perfect pearly teeth. “You should have taken my offer”. “What offer?” I thought. He smiled at me and lunged.
I woke up sweating. I looked around and everything seemed fine. My room is messy as always, my dog sleeping on her dog bed. I looked at the clock, 7 AM. Well I guess I should feed the dogs. I slowly crawled out of bed. The warmth from my covers made it hard not to jump right back in.
I went downstairs and fed the dogs and did all of my other chores. I was done around 8. I went back up the stairs to my room. As I was passing a window, I looked out and I thought I saw a figure. The exact same figure I saw in my dream. His back was turned to me so I couldn't be sure. It could just be me on edge. Probably from lack of sleep.
You see, I have a problem falling asleep. I’ll lie awake for hours tossing and turning. I usually just listen to audiobooks, but it has to be something I've already read or I will wait until the story is over, which is usually the next morning. My normal amount of sleep is around 6 hours. It was very likely that seeing the figure was just my imagination.
Later that day, I thought I saw the figure again. But when I started to walk towards the figure it started to walk away. It rounded a corner and when I looked around the curb, he was gone.
For the next couple of weeks, I saw him but never got close to him. I wanted to tell my parents, but I didn't for fear of them thinking I'm crazy and sending me to a psychiatrist. One day I told my friend about it, she just laughed and told me “good prank but you aren't getting me.”
I didn't know what to do. I saw him more and more. It had been a couple of weeks. I finally just gave up. When I go outside, I would only look down. I never looked out the window.
People started to see me change. Some people ask me what was wrong but I shrug my shoulders and say I'm fine and walk away.
I was sent to the counselor’s office at school but I did the exact same thing. That did help me realize that I needed to seem fine.
When I got home my parents asked ”how did the counselor visit go “. I realized that they had requested the school to make an appointment for me to go. I got angry and shouted, “I don't need to go to the counselors”. I stomped upstairs and slammed my door. The tremors shook the whole house.
I was still angry when it was time for dinner. I came downstairs, grabbed my food, glared at my mom and went back upstairs. My parents came up and said “we just want what's best for you, you've been acting so weird lately”. Then it hit me, my parents had phoned the school. That's the reason I got sent to the counselors. Now I was steaming. I wouldn't be surprised if smoke came out of my ears. I screamed “THAT WAS YOU! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, I’M FINE!!!”
Later it started to rain. Thunder sounded through the sky.
I was still so mad I ran out of the house. I didn’t care about the rain. I did know how stupid it was. I just couldn't stay.
I ran for a while. I didn't know where I was. I slowed down taking in my surroundings. I was in a street I didn't recognize. With houses few and far between. The storm was still going and the lightning strikes seemed to be getting closer. That didn’t bother me. The chances of a person getting hit are very slim. I continued down the street.
I was starting to get hungry, but I didn't bring anything with me. It was starting to get dark. I knew if anyone saw me walking alone down a street at night they would most likely alert the authorities. I didn’t really need to worry, it was more of a country landscape now. More trees and fields, less houses.
BANG
I saw a blinding flash. I felt electricity coursing within me. I smelt burning flesh, yuck who knew flesh smelt so bad. Then nothing.
I woke up aching in all places. Oh my head, why did my head hurt so badly. I tried to remember. I couldn't, I can't remember anything. I know I must have had a past, so what is going on?
I slowly opened one eye. I saw a girl about as high as me. Her arms were chained up above her head. Come to think of it, so where mine. I immediately jumped up. Trying to break the chain but it wouldn't budge. She looked at me like “oh yea I just sit in these because I like having my arms pinned above my head.”
I sat back down. The girl had blond hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a shirt with a band picture on it, she was also wearing camo shorts. On her neck was a necklace with a shark tooth at the end.
Someone came in, I couldn't see them because they were in the shadows. The person stepped out of the shadows. He seemed vaguely familiar. I couldn't remember. He walked up to me, leaned dawn, and smiled. He was so close I could smell his breath, it was horrible. He could probably kill a plant with his breath.
“Ever heard of mints,” I said. A flash of anger in his eye. He stood up and walked out of the room. Only turning around once to look at the other girl. He said “Told you, you weren't the only one water girl. Then turned back around and walked out.
I looked at her, “your name is water girl” she shrugged “I don't know my real name, I only got here yesterday. He said I drowned in the ocean after a storm. what about you.” I racked my brain trying to remember, “I don’t know, what if you drowned in the ocean, how are you still alive,” drowned means died right? “don’t know I can’t remember anything about what happened. All I know is that I don’t think I could do this before,” she opened her hand and water spurted out. My jaw dropped. If she had water, then most likely I would get something too. I tried opening my hand and concentrating. Wind started to gust, it picked up everything and threw it against a wall. It picked up the girl and started to slam her against the wall, over and over. I closed my hand and it started to slow down. “Well, that was unexpected. I have water and you have wind.’’
The door opened “well now, we have wind and water I wonder who will be next.”
Over the next few weeks. Two new people arrived. One a boy with red hair that looked like it was on fire. His irises were as black as night. He had fire abilities. And another boy with brown hair and green eyes. His power was earth.
The mystery man told us how each of us got our power. Apparently, the boy with fire got his from a forest fire. The boy with earth got caught in a mudslide. They said that they didn’t know what happened to me, but they suspected lightning.
During the time we spent imprisoned they had us do drills. I finally learned how to use my power. This place is not a fun place. We get dragged by chains, get very little sleep, get food once a day. There are other things but these are the top ones on my list. We got used to everything. We would rather it be easier but if we complain we don't get food.
One day the mystery man walked in. He stood in the middle of us, we were all chained to a different wall. “The higher ups have agreed that you can now join us in an uprising. If you wish to join the standards are the same as they are now. If you don't, get ready for the medium level.” we were all stunned “you can't be serious” said water girl “why would we join you, we would put others through this torture.” I said “this is the easy level,” said the earth boy “No way,” said the fire boy. “Fine level medium starts now.
Level medium was horrible, the food was every other day and they had us moved to different rooms even more. And we barely got 2 hours to sleep.
After a couple months we all decided to talk about what could be done. “We need to break out.” water girl said. “Well what can we do” said the earth boy. “I have an idea,” I exclaimed. “What is it,” water girl said. “Fire boy could you concentrate your flame to cut through the chains? Water girl could you be ready to put out any fires.” “Hey that might work.” the fire boy started to burn his chain. It took a long time, but it worked. Then he started on mine, the earth boy, and finally the water girl. “We need to hurry. We don't want them to sound the alarm.” We ran down the hallway only to bump into the mystery man. He stared at us, sneered and then punched the fire boy in the stomach. Fury pulsed through me. I immediately jumped on the mystery man. “Help fire boy” I yelled. The other two ran over to the fire boy and started to help him up. I continued to battle, they didn’t teach us how to fight but it seemed to come instinctively. I got a couple of good punches in. He socked me in the eye. Boy did that hurt. From that I started to go animal on him. All the anger, rage, fear, anything bad that happened I used. I started to scratch his face and he screamed. A wind started going, by now the others had joined in. The fire boy started to conjure a flame. I grabbed a chair and smashed it on his head. He crumpled to the ground. The sound of the fight had gotten the attention of some other guards. The fire boy created a wall of flames. Suddenly the lights went out. I grabbed a piece of the chair and lit it in the fire. I heard braking. Slowly I turned around. The mystery man was there. I told the others “run,” and they did. The mystery man didn’t follow. He just watched us with a smile on his face. When the others were out of sight he turned back to me still smiling. He brought up his chair to smash me into the flames. I lifted my hand, a gust of wind blew the flames over my head, into his face. He screeched, it sounded like nothing I had ever heard before.
I bolted, running in the same way the others ran. I caught up to them and they were almost out. We continued to run, turning this way and that. Finally, we made it out. Outside there was a chain link fence with electric wire at the top. Now I used my power. The wind lifted us off our feet. We went right over the fence.
“Now that are free, can we please come up with better names?” Water girl said, “Ok I’ll be Storm” I said. “I call Indigo,” said water girl. “I’ll take Flame”. The earth boy couldn't decide. “There aren't any good earth names, I guess I’ll take Stone.”
We continued for a while then we stopped to take a break. We walked into a town. Immediately someone pushed a flyer into my hand. We looked at it, it was a girl on the poster, she had brown hair and brown eyes. She looked around our age. “Hey she kind of looks like you” said Flame. “No she doesn't, Storm has blue eyes and her hair is lighter,” said Indigo. “I feel bad for the girl she must be kidnaped or dead,” I said. “Wow what an inspirational speaker,” said Stone”. What’s her name” said Indigo “ Emma” .
“We should get going,” I said. We walked to a place where no one would be able to see us. We flew off and continued on until it got dark.
We landed in a forest, it seemed so familiar. Flame got the fire, Indigo made the water, stone dug out the shelter under some trees, and I got the food. I got squirrel and 3 eggs from a nest I found.
After eating we all went to bed, Stone dug enough burrows for all of us.
I woke up with a kick to the side it was the mystery man. He was standing above me. His face was covered by shadows but still I could see how it was burnt in one side. “Give up we've got the others.” I leapt to my feet and raced past him. Once I was out I saw Indigo unconscious, Stone changed to a wall in an armored vehicle, and Flame being restrained by some men. Anger flew through me again and I opened my hands and created a tornado.
Trees went flying, people went flying, everything went flying. I saw Indigo lift off the ground and I slowly set her down next to me. Flame ran over, “can you help her, I'm trying to control this thing.” Next I saw Stone. He was still in the armored car. I brought it over. Indigo woke up. Flame started on Stone’s chains.
When the tornado stopped, I sat down exhausted. Someone cleared their throat behind me and I whipped around. It was the mystery man and about 10 others. We were all exhausted and I knew that we would not be able to use our powers. Our only chance of survival is to “RUN,” we did, we ran through the forest. I split up from the others, I know the mystery man would follow me.
I was running through the forest crashing through branches, jumping over logs and ditches, breaking anything in front of me. My heart was beating, legs ached, breath was ragged. Adrenaline and fear the only thing pushing me forward. This felt so familiar.
I heard a man behind me. He shouted some things, but I ignored him. I kept on running. I was right as I saw him behind me.
I ran. It seemed like I lost him. That wouldn't make me stop. Finally, I came out of the forest only to skid to a halt.
In front of me was a ravine. It was long and deep. I would survive but what about the others. I could fly, they couldn't.
Suddenly I saw a mound of dirt build up and then fall away. Three figures were running away from it and maybe 5 people standing on the other side I flew up beside the group of three. I was right. It was Flame, Indigo, and Stone. I had the wind pick them up and we flew off to a place where the mystery man would never find us.