Jewel

By: Angela Clem

Even now that she’s gone they won’t stop moving and knocking, I wanted to say How could you say that you love her when you won’t leave her alone, and Darl knows it and instead he sets fire to the goddamn barn. The goddamn barn. I saw it and I knew and I looked at Darl and he knew that I knew that he was the one who set it, just like he was the one who made us leave to earn three goddamn dollars. I knew then. I knew that she would be gone by the time we got back, but now the goddamn barn is on fire and it’s just me doing everything by myself again

And all them others fluttering about like those buzzards in the sky, waiting to pick at her, but they won’t do anything about it they never will

The goddamn barn is on fire, sparks are in my eyes and on my hands and all I can see in the burning building is the         , I have to get it out I have to save her I hear Darl behind me, yelling Here Jewel come on, but he sounds far away. His voice intermingles with the screams of the horse and the distant thunder of the flames. It’s not important. In my head I hear Darl’s voice saying Jewel whose son are you your mother was a horse but who was your father Jewel and I want to turn and yell at him You goddamn lying son of a bitch, because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and I do know, and because he set the goddamn barn on fire, the lying son of a bitch

If it was just me and her she wouldn’t be here she would be quiet, but she isn’t quiet, all of a sudden it is very loud and as I lift one end up tilting that goddamn , I call out Darl Darl. He can’t hear me. None of them can. They won’t do anything they never will, it is just me and her and for a moment I almost want to pull her back inside the barn and lie down with her, let the goddamn barn burn around us, it would just be me and her.

One last push one last push until she is quiet