We regret to announce the discontinuation of our ever-popular Home Delivery by Dragons Service (HDBDS). Inspired by both How to Train Your Dragon and Kiki’s Delivery Service, this program has unfortunately proven to be inefficient, costly, and in some instances ― downright dangerous to our Librarians and patrons! It has been CANCELED indefinitely.
Despite its popularity among the 30 patrons we surveyed, after 6 months of service it was determined we could no longer sustain the program. Although these patrons reported their books were delivered rain or shine, they were often delivered with singed pages and torn covers rendering their beloved literary masterpieces unreadable.
As for the safety of our Librarians, Ms. Amy, former YS Librarian, commented that dealing with the often unruly dragons "set her hair on fire" and "made her blood boil."
Back to drones perhaps?
"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!'"
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit or, There and Back Again